Eloping | How To Decide If It's Right For You
With a season that has brought a lot of change to the wedding world, you might be asking yourself if eloping is right for you? Many people are changing their wedding plans due to the virus from large traditional weddings with 200+ guests to a more intimate day with just close friends and family, or by themselves, simply because they can’t wait any longer to get married. There is a realization of what is most important to them is to finally be united and commit to each other. And with that has come some other realizations.
My couples have mentioned things like, they are so relieved they have an excuse to not invite people, this new intimate ceremony feels more like them, they’re less stressed, and what they care about most now is finally getting married.
Planning your wedding a second or even third time has allowed couples to really focus on what is important to them, what is not negotiable, and what they were doing to simply appease others. So whether you are replanning your whole day or have seen friends or family elope and are debating whether eloping might be right for you, this may help!
My biggest piece of advice to couples is always to first start by asking yourself, “How do you want to FEEL on your wedding day?”
We often start the planning process from a place of, “What do I have to DO?” And we follow a generic checklist that is no longer a one size fits all. And then your day is automatically filled with things that aren’t necessarily representative of you two and your relationship or have any care for how you want to feel on your day. Typically resulting in you feeling stressed, rushed, hungry, and overwhelmed, either by the number of guests you have to accommodate, a strict timeline, etc.
But if you can determine how you two want to feel - inspired, refreshed, calm, etc. you start planning with a very different mindset. From there you can decide what sounds most ENJOYABLE to you. I like to encourage couples to think about their wedding day like this:
If you had one day where you two could do WHATEVER you wanted, what would that day include?
The fun thing about eloping is that it can look however you want. It can just be the two of you, waking up together, stopping at your favorite coffee shop, and then hiking a new trail to the summit, saying your vows surrounded by nature. After you come back to town for an epic hot air balloon ride and then a romantic dinner.
It can be a small handful of your friends and family who support you on your day, standing in a meadow full of wildflowers for your ceremony. After you have an amazing picnic catered under string lights.
You can travel to a whole new country and make a full weekend out of it. Explore the first day, have your family meet you for the next day for an intimate ceremony, and the last day do some fun local activities like soaking in a hot spring, go paragliding, take a romantic boat ride. All while making some incredible lasting memories and strengthening your bond while sharing something completely new to both of you.
The only thing that really matters is that you feel the freedom and confidence to choose the brave choice of doing what you two want for your wedding and not what trends, family, or tradition tell you you have to do.
Here is a list to read through to help you determine if eloping is right for you:
You'd rather not say private and emotional words (i.e. your vows) in front of a lot of people. You want the freedom to be vulnerable.
The idea of public speaking or being the center of attention is stressful for you. And yes even if they are your family members.
If you feel pressure to invite people that have not been active or engaged in your life recently. I.e. Mom’s co-worker, Aunt Susan, your sister’s new boyfriend.
Incorporating adventure into your day is super important to you.
You want flexibility and spontaneity on your day, not a strict timeline.
You don’t want to feel rushed, overwhelmed, or exhausted. You want to be able to focus on your day and soak it in.
You would rather spend quality time with a small number of people.
You would rather spend your money on the two of you.
Experiencing something new together, traveling, or incorporating a memorable activity sounds fun to you two.
And while we’re at it maybe we should talk about what an elopement is NOT. There are quite a few myths and stereotypes about eloping that are no longer the case. Basically, just ask your grandparents what they think about eloping…and it’s probably the opposite, ha!
Eloping is NOT:
Running away to Las Vegas.
Just because you are pregnant.
Because you are not close with your family.
Young and making a “poor choice”.
A last-minute, spur of the moment decision.
A big secret.
If any of these ideas spoke to you or made you say “YES! You get me!” Then eloping might be right for you. If you want to chat more about this option or want help planning your dream elopement, I’m here to help.
Looking for other tips and resources for planning your elopement?
