5 Things I Wish I Knew When Planning a Wedding

Jake and I had a beautiful intimate wedding at my childhood home. I grew up on a small farm, all the guests parked in a horse field, and we stood under my favorite pink flowering tree which we somehow managed to time perfectly. Petals fell as I walked and scattered the aisle runner. We took portraits all over the farm, had lawn games, and dancing by the pool.

It was certainly DIY and the definition of casual - no assigned seating, no fancy champagne glasses, I wore chuck taylors. And not new bright white chucks, haha OH noooo, I wore my old beat up chucks, which I did attempt to clean but was not very successful so I just went with it. I loved every second, although it flew by too quickly!

Prior to my own wedding I think I had attended just two, and only one as an adult. So when I say I didn’t know what I was doing….I literally didn’t know anything about wedding planning. What was possible or what would be important to me, or how I would want to remember the day. So looking back, though I loved my wedding day, there are some things I would suggest to anyone planning their wedding.

1. Let Light Dictate EVERYTHING

It never dawned on me to think about the sun when choosing my ceremony location and time. Since we got married earlier in the afternoon, the sun was still high in the sky and super harsh, thus it was pretty unflattering because of the intense shadows and highlights. When getting married outside, if your venue space is flexible, take a few mintues when you are deciding when and where to get married to check what time and where the sun will be setting. I find the best two options are; if the sun is setting directly behind your guests and right before sunset time. This way the light is even and pretty on you, though pretty bright, and your guests are not squinting into the sun. OR the light should be just setting directly behind the officiant so you two are backlit in pretty golden light which is the most beautiful, however your guests may be a little squinty (but we’re most concerned with how you look ;) ) Or if you are unsure and have the option, talk to your photographer - they will thank you endlessly.

2. Get a Videographer

I literally have no idea what was said during our entire ceremony. I completely blacked out and I can’t remember any of it. And that sincerely breaks my heart. I truly regret not having a videographer. I can only image how special it would be to hear Jake and myself say our vows with shaky voices and sniffles. I believe videography is completely different and as vital as a photographer on this day. My photos bring back so many memories, and I know a video would illicit many more.

3. Create Space for Quiet Time Together

The day seriously flys by. Isn't that always the case with the best moments in life?! Everyone is so excited for you, they want to give you hugs and celebrate and dance, naturally you will be pulled in many directions. Righfully so, and i’m sure you want to enjoy this moment with them too. However, I believe there needs to be some time in your wedding day that just the two of you can soak in this moment, otherwise the day will be over and you’ll think, what just happened?! Portrait time is likely the only time you’ll have together but In addition to that, I would suggest you need some time completely alone so you can emotionally process this huge moment together.

4. Have a First Look

One of the only traditions we stuck with on the wedding day, was not seeing each other before hand. I wanted the first time Jake saw me to be walking down the aisle to him. But that moment was overwhelmed by the feeling of everyone staring at me, worrying about tripping, and the general nerves of getting ready to say “I do”. Looking back, I wish I could have shared in the whole day with Jake including all the anticipation and butterflies. I also know I would have been a whole heck of lot less nerves if I had the chance to see him beforehand. Plus this is a great time to have some of that alone time I mentioned before.

5. Honor YOUR Love

Take time to think about what you want and what is important - not just Pinterest. It’s not just about flower arrangements and the perfect make up. How do you want to remember this day, what would really celebrate your unique love, how much do you care about wedding traditions, what does the bouquet toss mean to you, how are you honoring your love on this day, would you value a handwritten letter from your soon to be groom in 30 years? The same thing applies to your wedding day as it did in grade school, don’t just do it because everyone else is doing it.