Pros & Cons of Doing a First Look at Your Wedding
Should you do a first look at your wedding? That's what so many engaged couples wonder, which is why I wrote a blog all about that topic. While it use to be a tradition to wait to see on another until walking down the aisle during your wedding ceremony, that has long since changed!
As a wedding photographer, I have seen many different versions of a “first look” over the years. From sweet private vow readings between the bride and groom to prank first looks with someone wearing a Dino suit pretending to be the “bride”. Deciding whether or not to do a first look is something I help almost all my couples think through so I thought I would create this blog as a resource to help other couples who are still deciding!
Keep reading to learn what I believe to be the pros and cons of doing a first look on your wedding day!
What is a First Look?
But maybe you’re reading this and thinking “what is a first look and why should I care about it?!”
Well, a first look at a wedding is typically considered to be a private moment between the bride and groom where they see each other in their wedding attire for the first time. This happens before the ceremony and usually somewhat early in the afternoon just after finishing getting ready.
That being said, a first look isn’t always just between the couple. Sometimes in addition to a first look with your partner, many brides choose to do a first look with their dad, specific family members (ie. brother or grandparent), and even the bridal party. Honestly, it really depends on your relationships with people and who you may want to share a private moment with before the ceremony.
*Remember, a first look doesn't have to be a super contrived moment with pressure to react in a certain way, it's just a special time for the two of you on your big day!
Where to do your First Look?
Well, that depends on where you are getting married and what your wedding day looks like! Many times couples can get caught up in the logistics about getting to the first look location without seeing each other. But there’s no need to stress, there’s a solution for every situation, even if you’re hiking on your elopement day!
first look at the getting ready location
Some couples choose to have their first look at their getting ready location, maybe in the front or back yard, out on a spacious deck, a stylized room indoors, or in any pretty corner of the property. Don’t forget to consider this when you’re booking lodging or getting ready space!
The benefit of doing your first look right at the getting ready location is that you’ll be able to diminish any nerves right from the start, spend the maximum amount of time with your partner, and enjoy the journey to your next location together.
first look at a unique location
Other couples will choose to travel separately to their first portrait location or trailhead and do a first look there for the views. You can have a friend or family member drive you, take two cars, or even ride in the same car with one partner in the backseat (if you promise not to peek!).
The benefit of doing your first look at another location is that you will have a different backdrop or scenery! This doesn’t always mean traveling far to get there. Many times this can be going to another area at the wedding venue, whether you get ready there or not!
adventure elopement first look
If you are having an adventure elopement and plan to hike to your ceremony, many couples will choose to hike in normal hiking attire (or even fun all white athletic attire making you feel a little more *bridal*). Then once you’re at the destination, you would change into your wedding attire (I’m happy to find a bush or tree for a little coverage). Once you are all dressed and ready, you can have your first look at the top if a mountain or where it’s most scenic. This is an especially a great option for sunrise elopements since it’ll most likely be dark until just before your ceremony. Sunset elopements you can choose any of the other options too!
If you hire me as your photographer, I always here for you and happy to help give you guidance on the perfect nearby first look location and help make it as epic as possible! I’ll also give you guidance on where to stand and make sure you don’t see one another beforehand.
Pros of doing a First Look
freedom to be yourselves
It’s no surprise that there tends to be an unspoken pressure about seeing each other on your wedding day. Some people may expect you to act a certain way (ie. cry lol) and having lots of eyes on you when you see each other for the first time can be a lot to process! Not everyone is super emotional, and others may be super emotional and need to touch up makeup after a first look. When it’s just the two of you, there’s no weird pressure to react a certain way, you can just be yourselves. Whatever that looks like!
This is also a great way to incorporate another special moment you may not want to do in front of everyone. Many couples read private vows or letters to each other that they don’t want to say in front of everyone during the ceremony. Others pray together, wash each others feet (a biblical act of love and service for one another), or even take a shot together! Having a private moment together can be whatever feels right to do the two of you. Even if it’s just a moment to let every thing soak in - “you’re getting married!!!”
timeline flexibility
This is honestly one of the biggest reasons to do a first look on your wedding day! If you do a first look, all your wedding party photos, family photos, and even some couples portraits can be taken before the ceremony. If you don’t have a first look, they usually all have to take places during cocktail hour or even during the reception. It’s usually a lot more stressful because we are on tighter time constraints, people are ready to just enjoy the party, and depending on the time of year, the sun setting quickly or it’s already set. Also, the sooner in the day you have your first look, the fresher your hair and makeup will look! Especially if it’s a super hot or humid day, it’ll be hours from the time you get ready to taking photos after the ceremony.
If you have a first look, you are able to get a majority of your photos taken before the ceremony and can just enjoy the wedding reception. Of course, I’m always a big fan of sneaking you two away for a few sunset portraits, even if we took couple portraits in the afternoon!
spend more time together
While this may sound a little crazy, your wedding day goes by so quickly and by the end of it you may not have even spent that much time together. There’s so much happening and so many people to talk to! If you have a first look, then you see each other almost immediately after getting ready. You can even hang out together before the ceremony starts! Whereas if you don’t have first look, you won’t see each other until walking down the aisle at the ceremony (and at that point you’ve probably been getting ready or at the venue since early in the morning!).
reduces pre-ceremony nerves
It’s very normal to be nervous before your ceremony. Depending on the size of your wedding, it can be quite nerve-racking for some people to walk down the aisle with all eyes on them! Not to mention wondering what your partner may think or just being eager to see them (and remembering not to trip lol!). Having a private moment together beforehand can help relief some of the potential nerves you may and taking the pressure off the ceremony entrance moment.
All my couples I’ve talked to are glad they had a first look. Primarily because it calmed all their nerves and put them at ease for the rest of the day!
Cons of doing a First Look
no “big reveal” during the ceremony
Many girls dream of the “big reveal” moment of walking down the aisle and seeing her soon to be husband for the very first time. The doors open, the guests rise to stand, and you walk in like a princess. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with desiring this moment you may have dreamed of for your whole life! If you want the reveal moment at the ceremony, go for it!
Honestly, I wouldn't really say there aren’t any other negative aspects of a first look. It's really just a preference thing!
P.S. Even if you do choose to have a first look, the moment you are walking down the aisle will still be so special. I’ve had some couples not cry during the first look but then when they walk down the aisle, the emotions just start flowing! You could even choose to wait to put on certain details of your wedding attire until the ceremony (ie. a veil) to make it feel a little more different too.
Should you do a first look on your wedding day?
Honestly, there is no right answer about whether or not you should do a first look. There are lots of factors that go into choosing what’s best for your wedding day. You need to consider the timing of day, what types of photos you care about most, when the sun sets, and so much more. Due to the reasons mentioned above, I tend to lean more pro-first look. But ultimately you need to choose what is best for you two as a couple!
For me personally, I chose not to a have a first look on my wedding day but I really wish I did. I was so full of nerves anticipating the ceremony and knowing people were starring at me. It was a bit overwhelming. The ceremony immediately started and we couldn't talk to each other or soak in the moment together.